Okay, so this week everyone seems to be talking about the
gender neutral baby. I have to be honest, when I heard the story my first
reaction was – what? After a couple of more minutes of thinking and reading the
articles, my brain was able to move – if not slightly reluctantly, from what to
why?
Now I should first point out that I don’t have children and
so I’ve never been in the position of deciding whether or not to tell people
that I have had a boy or a girl. I have though had to buy congratulation cards,
and I would have been properly miffed if one of my friends had said; “we’re not
saying!” Let’s face it, Clinton’s just doesn’t do a card for; “congratulations
on your gender neutral baby”, which means I’d have to have resorted to Moonpig
and what colour would I have gone for – yellow, green!! Oh no, hold on I may be
falling prey to the gender stereotype!
I also understand that there will be some people out there that
will be firm advocates of this being entirely the parent’s decision, and no one
else’s business. People, I am sure, will say that so long as the parent’s are
looking after the child then it’s really no one else’s business. The problem is
I disagree. Going public with this story and decision, has rightly or wrongly
made it other people’s business. On hearing a story like this, it is nigh on
impossible not to have an opinion about it.
Now whilst I don’t have children, I was once a child and I
do also have parents of my own. I personally think that parent’s have, without
doubt, the hardest job in the world. From the moment that they are handed their
child they are responsible for absolutely everything that happens to them and
this will mean having to make hundreds, if not thousands, of decisions. This is
no mean feat!
No one can be expected to get every decision right. So all
therapists should breathe a massive sigh of relief, I can only imagine the
effect on their revenues if everyone was suddenly blissfully happy and had
absolutely no parent issues whatsoever! Also, what would teenagers do? I’m so
moody, my mum and dad really understand me! It doesn’t quite have the same
effect as the visual that Harry Enfield provided in his sketch of Kevin and
Perry.
Life also isn’t anywhere near that simple, and as we get
older we change and not only define who we are, but we also re-define who we
are. Look at Madonna or maybe Lady GaGa! So what I suppose I am trying to say
is that parents don’t really stand a chance in the grand scheme of things. At
some point they will inevitable be blamed for something, just as I am sure that
they inevitable blamed their parents for something in the past. It’s just the
way it goes.
We all rely on our parents in the beginning and I honestly
don’t think we can say that all parent’s over the past millennia, that have
been raising sons as boys and daughters as girls have had it all wrong. I’m also
not sure I see the point of trying to be gender neutral. It’s perfectly
acceptable in this day and age – in the West at least, to completely defy
stereotypes. Does it matter if a boy has long hair and likes pink, or if a girl
likes playing with cars and dressing in blue? I don’t think it matters what a
child does so long as they are happy. They are after all only children.
Yet I don’t think this includes making a child gender
neutral, mainly because this isn’t actually possible. Every child has a gender;
male or female, and deciding from day dot that a child will be gender neutral
to me just seems ludicrous. I hope that I’m wrong and that the child will prove
every nay sayer wrong and grow up and be well balanced, happy, and not at all
confused or angry at his / her parent’s decision. I however think I’d be pretty
annoyed at the fact that it was made known that I was referred to as “it” or
“the infant”.
Am I the only one whose mind immediately jumps to Edith Nesbitt’s
book; Five Children and It, or worse the Addam’s Family??
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