BBC Three has found an absolute cracker of a programme with
Don’t tell the Bride, and I have to
admit (guilty) that it’s the best reality programme on TV. The concept for
anyone who hasn’t seen it is that the groom is given £12,000 and three weeks to
organise a wedding for his bride to be.
During this time he, or she – there has been a lesbian
wedding, is not allowed any contact with his or her bride to be. The budget
also has to cover not only the wedding and reception, but also the stag and hen
do’s, the bride and bridesmaids dresses, the clothes for the groom and any
groomsmen, flowers, favours, decorations, and also any cars and travel
requirements that will be needed.
Now while this concept could sound dull, or perhaps a
little documentary-esque, it is not. The programme is in fact hilarious,
although I’m often not sure that the participants wanted their wedding to be seen
as a comedy when they applied for the show! Yet it is and not least because whilst
the groom is making all of his arrangements for the big day, his bride to be is
also asked to choose what she wants and is expecting to be organised on “the
biggest day of her life”.
This is the best part. The bride nearly always wants the
exact opposite of what the groom has chosen and this is made amusing by the comedic
timing of the voice over as she points this out. The groom also usually dismisses
a variety of wedding dresses, including one that is the exact shape, style and shade
of the one that his future bride adores, has her heart set on, and is filmed
twirling around in.
For forty minutes, the wedding day looks set to be a
disaster with the groom seemingly making all of the wrong choices. I also (I
know I shouldn’t) quite like it when the budget is used up before everything
has been bought. It always seems though that there is just enough money left to
pay for the stag do, but the hens rarely fair as well!
About three quarters of the way through the programme there
is always a big reveal. This is usually the dress, which is shown to the bride
to be on the day before the wedding (a little harsh especially when she hates
it!) Yet there was one, extraordinarily brilliant, episode where the big reveal
was actually the fact that the wedding was in Las Vegas.
The groom in this episode had only invited a handful of
people for budgetary reasons. He had even cut his own sister – harsh! Whilst he
had invited his future sister-in-law – she was a bridesmaid and maybe the only
reason for her invite, his future brother-in-law was not so lucky! It was
highly controversial and amazing entertainment (again I know I shouldn’t revel
in other people’s TV misery, but if they will go on reality TV!) The
sister-in-law refused to go, and so did the bride – initially.
Most episodes as I say centre on the dress, and for a few
minutes it is car absolute crash TV – you want to look away but you just can’t
help watching. The bride cries, her family and friends cry, but it is not
always in a good way. Occasionally she hates the dress or worse it doesn’t fit –
oops!
The final segment of the programme is the actual wedding
and the bride nearly always loves the day, well most parts of it. Who can
forget the poor Thorpe Park bride or the Vegas bride?
As much as I watch this programme for its entertainment and
comedy value, I do have to take my hat off to all the couples that have gone on
it. To the brides I salute you, I would never trust a man to organise a cinema trip
much less to plan an entire wedding. To the grooms I congratulate you. In most
cases you hit the nail right on the head and plan a perfect day for the loves
of your life. To BBC Three I thank you, Don’t
tell the Bride is brilliant. Make more episodes!
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