Hanging onto the hope of a Hollywood illusion – is there an app for that?

I've been lied to and hash-tagging is for once not making me feel better. Although clearly I am #disappointed, feeling #jaded and yet to #makeapoint.

So here it is – in today’s world, as I bang out this blog on my iPad, with Spotify playing on my iPhone and my Fitbit charging on my monitor so I’m aware of every element of my life – I mean god forbid that I don’t know the exact number of hours I slept last night #insomnia I’m constantly reminded just how far my, and everyone’s, world has come in just a short period of time.

We live in an age of complete social media. Friends, work colleagues and frequently total strangers, know what we've done before we've even had time to process it.

We've got Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter #obviously and so many others that I won’t even continue to list them! Clearly I’ll only make myself sound old / uncool by forgetting the latest craze that I’m not savvy or app-tastic with!

Thing is…. with all of the gadgets. With all of the genius behind bringing us the gadgets. What I want to know is ….. where is my hoverboard?

Marty McFly had one in the 80s and truthfully I’m starting to feel like the ungrateful kid at Christmas! I've gadgets and apps galore, and Silicon Valley will undoubtedly bamboozle me with more – so hard can bringing out the hoverboard be? I mean come on!

Surely it’s also good business – well maybe this is a stretch for my case, but still if we have any more tube strikes in London – to which there is actually another one scheduled for 5th August, the hoverboard could become a hot commodity!

So how is it that in an age where we’re all trying to continually outdo each other as to being the coolest kid in school (although ironic is not, that the kids that would never have been the coolest kids in school are now predicting these trends!) we've been forced into using outdated modes of transportation? I mean the Thames Clipper – really!

The only thing that kept me grounded whilst on the boat was my ability able to pay with my contactless credit card. It reminded me that I hadn't drifted to an era gone by – although the speed it went at someone could have been rowing #exaggerating. I was also on WhatsApp – so no modern civilisation hadn't departed me, but my mood wouldn't have in the doldrums if I’d rocked up to work on my trusty hoverboard. Then, oh yeah then, I’d have embraced strike day. Well to a certain extent.

I do also appreciate that the hoverboard may not be practical for everyday use, particularly for winter in the UK, but I tell you now – if it’s launched, I’ll camp out to buy one.

Hollywood gave me a dream – not to be famous, not to be rich – well not to me personally, but it did promise that we’d get the chance to hang off the back of a car and hover less than a foot off the ground! I mean jaws is real right? Regardless, I’m holding onto this hoverboard dream not matter how much sleep and exercise my Fitbit tells me I've had, no matter how many versions of the iPhone are launched, no matter how many apps come out to fulfil my every need in life, and whatever Google does in regards to glasses!

Some things we can let go of, as frequently as adults we have to, but this – this dream, I’m hanging onto! I want my hoverboard #martymcfly

Nothing that hasn’t been said before …. but here we go again!

Why do we tell ourselves when we’re going “out” for a drink, that all we intend to do is have just that one drink and then swiftly get ourselves off home? It’s clearly a lie, unless you’re going out for a drink with someone who you intentionally try to keep to a one drink minimum!

Sadly, twice this week, my perfectly good intentions to have just one post-work drink have been scuppered. Within just twenty minutes of being in the bar that I’d purchased my first drink in, drink number two was already in hand!

Unfortunately though it’s when you pick up drink number three, and contemplate buying shots, that you know disaster is about to strike. This is when you trade a glance with whoever you are out with, and declare the frightening line; “we’re out out.” (Although I find that this declaration has far more potency about it, when it’s being said with an Essex accent. Much like; “shut up!”)

Whilst the difference of being “out” and being “out out” shouldn’t seem that great, we all know that it is. The highs are; conversations with people you don’t know, making new friends – a perk for you but not always them (depending on their level of alcohol consumption compared to yours at the time), darting for the last train home – although only remembering that halfway through the following day, mum / dad style dancing, occasionally karaoke, and speaking progressively louder.

Yet we shouldn’t forget the lows; the bank balance taking a beating – along with the voice box, the kidney’s and liver also taking a nice hit, there’s the unavoidable hangover, the waves of shame that hit you as the memory returns – yes you really were dancing around your handbag and singing at the top of your lungs, and for the super competitive amongst us .… more shame!

The thing is, no lessons are ever learnt. After intending to meet a friend for just one drink on Wednesday, and then go home and get some work done, we ended up “out out”. Unsurprisingly, come Thursday morning, we then had to deal with the inevitable ramifications of our decision.

After struggling with my morning commute, and longing to die for most of Thursday, I swore off alcohol – well at least until July! However, I’m now writing this blog with a far worse hangover than the one I had on Thursday. So I wonder, am I glutton for punishment or just plain stupid?

I could argue both ways, but simply put; “I was out out!”

I am a whore.... for food!

I have seen a vision of the future, and I am here to tell you that it is a happy one! The NHS is no longer failing, but then life expectancy is short. We are all fat, but we are all happy. We look like a cross between Monica at her fattest in Friends, and the human race in whatever year Pixar’s Wall-e was set in! If you never watched Friends, and you haven’t seen Wall-e, suffice to say we are all morbidly obese. Yet let me say again we are all very happy, so this is a happy blog.

The reason for our calamitous weight problems, but peaceful state of minds is Tom Kerridge and his Proper Pub Food. The man who incorporates beef dripping croutons into his salads, is a man who understands that salads are the work of the devil and is here to save us all! I normally read right past the salad section on a menu, but for Mr Kerridge I would happily stop and have a damn good read of what he was throwing into the mix. Including what was in the dressing, this is a man who understands that your greens are dull!

Don’t worry though that our life expectancy’s will be shortened whilst Kerridge is to reign as the food master supreme, because I am and you should be too, willing to sacrifice all for the explosion of taste that you can only assume you get from Kerridge’s food when watching his programme Proper Pub Food. I was virtually drooling at his jacob’s ladder ribs – that took three days to prep (although he made look easy to do), and was ready to sell my soul to the devil be invited to his house to eat them and the shoulder of lamb he cooked. Also no one was fooled into believing that you’d only eat one of those salt roasted beef bagels!

I am now starting to wonder if Kerridge maybe the devil. Like every woman, I am constantly monitoring what I eat to some extent – whether I acknowledge it or not, and now Kerridge is on TV teasing me with amazing food that is loaded with more fat content and calories than litres of Ben & Jerry’s.

I am starting to wonder that had I offered to sell my soul, it could possibly have been Kerridge that would have turned up with the contract. It’s a great disguise though. He’s so likeable and endearing. You’d never have him pegged as the part, not like Al Pacino in The Devil’s Advocate. Also who cares, for another beef rib I’ll sign on whatever dotted line Kerridge shows me!

There have been so many chef’s on TV over the past few years making cooking seem simple, but I rarely feel inspired to want to baste myself in fat. Sod the thirty minute meals – I can order online quicker that, and I have no time at all for fifteen minute meals. Honestly, I get no delight or satisfaction in watching things being chucked and tossed into this and that. If I want something in fifteen minutes I’ll grab something pre-prepared. Plus let’s face it my fridge and cupboards, will never look like those of a professional chefs!

Kerridge though is hitting the screen with a style to his cooking that has made me some kind of addict to both cooking fat, and his show. I also love his Gloucester lilt, and I have never wanted to reach into my TV quite so much as when he cooked that seafood bergur (that’s burger by the way but intended with Kerridge’s Gloucestershire lilt). Truly – I have salivated over Kerridge’s cooking more than I have salivated over some of Hollywood’s A’listers! Yet we should not forget that this man does know what he is doing, and does know a thing or two about prapur (again that’s proper, but with a Gloucestershire lilt) pub grub. He is after all a two star Michelin chef!

So Tom – I’m going all informal here as I’m basting in dripping, you’ve been saluted so please get your book out! Now I’m back off to my musings about his beef ribs.  

BRCA – Genetic testing and the NHS

The story this week that has been impossible to miss, and that everyone has been talking about, has been that Angelina Jolie has revealed in an article in the New York Times that she chose to undergo a double mastectomy. Her decision to have the surgery was based on the results of a genetic test of the BRCA gene – BRCA 1 or BRCA 2, which can determine if you are at risk of developing breast cancer or ovarian cancer. According to the article, Angelina Jolie had an 87% risk of developing breast cancer, and so opted to take preventive measures to reduce her chances of ever getting breast cancer down to just 5%.

Angelina Jolie lost her mother to breast cancer, and as most people know – not only is Jolie a world famous actress and an UN ambassador, she has six children. In my opinion, and to the opinion’s of most people supporting her on twitter and Facebook, her decision was brave and heroic. She is taking the fight to cancer, and she’s saying I won’t wait for you to come for me. She’s taking the offensive, and she’s on the attack. Ultimately she’s being clever. Just look at the statics and the percentages of her genetic testing!

For someone like Jolie to have done this, in her profession where looks count for everything, I think she is going to have given courage and self respect back to thousands – if not more, of woman around the world. Woman who have doubted themselves, felt self-conscience and even ashamed at times, when they have looked in the mirror after having undergone lumpectomy’s and mastectomies – singular or double.

Yet it is not just about confidence, but – as Jade Goody did before she died, Jolie has also raised awareness. There is no one not talking about this story. Whether you agree with what Jolie’s done or not? Whether you would get tested or not? Whether you would opt for the mastectomy or not? Everyone has an opinion on this story, and so everyone is once again thinking and talking about cancer. People often say that cancer is never forgotten, but sadly all too often I fear that it is. All too often I think it becomes all too easy to ignore what does not affect us, what is not in our day to day life.

We should also not forget when talking about BRCA that for many there isn't a preventative genetic test. For many they have to wait for cancer to strike, and then hope like hell that they can fight it off and survive. Yet for some it is a fight that they cannot win. Cancer is brutal and cruel, and it affects not only those with the disease but also their friends and families.

So for me, the significance of my breasts compared to my life I feel cannot be compared. I would choose my life every single day. Surgeons can give me back replicas of my breasts. They can’t always give me back my life, not if the cancer takes hold too fast. Cancer is, let me say it again, brutal and cruel.

Jolie’s test, it is said, revealed an 87% chance of her getting breast cancer. Yet following her actions this has now been reduced to 5%.  I honestly cannot see how her decision was not the right one, and in any other avenue of life you would follow that course of action. Why would you run the risk when the odds were so against you? 87% chance of being faced with cancer, now it’s just 5%?

In The Guardian this week there were concerns raised about how the NHS was going to cope with the increase in the number of women wanting to be genetically tested. I appreciate that this will be a strain on the NHS, and any women choosing preventive surgery will obviously add a burden to the already over stretched NHS. Yet my argument would be this. Bevan’s philosophy for the NHS was that it was intended so that people would get better so that the NHS might one day not be needed. Granted this has not happened, and there has become a greater reliance on the service.

However in regards to genetic testing, if you offer women from having what could be preventative life saving treatment then they would hopefully not get breast cancer / ovarian cancer (if they had like Jolie the double mastectomy or in the regards to ovarian cancer an oophorectomy.) This would therefore save the NHS money in the future with regards to treating future possible cancer patients who would need further care, and it would also save money in regards to the additional treatments that these cancer patients often require such as radio and / or chemo therapy. It would also – as one of the credit card adverts say, be priceless in terms of the psychology benefits of not having to deal with the disease itself.

Some people may read this and think that there is a flippancy to the tone in regards to mastectomies, but let me assure you that there isn't  Cancer is a subject that touches very close to home, but I just feel that each woman that has the opportunity to be genetically tested should be. Then, in my opinion, it is that woman’s choice as to how she moves forward.

Ovarian cancer is a more sensitive issue for me, especially depending on the age of the woman, as it will remove any chances of her bearing children. Yet for me if removing your breasts can save your life, or have a high percentage / probability of saving your life, then I cannot see any reason not to do it.

Jolie’s attitude is truly inspirational, and she remains confident, beautiful, and one of Hollywood’s most glamorous women regardless of her surgery. Also I feel it would be wrong not to mention the attitude of Brad Pitt in all of this. He has appeared to be amazingly supportive, kind, and loving. He too has been an inspiration for men that will be put in a difficult position for their wives, girlfriends, sisters, mothers, and even friends, that may turn to them at some point in their lives over this issue.

What a couple Pitt and Jolie seem to be? They have certainly risen above the naysayers of Hollywood. They seem to have defied all the odds, and I hope that Jolie will continue to be a tour de force for women. She is a voice now, and I hope that she will continue to be. 

The Pyrce of Sensationalism

Regardless as to whether you’ve wanted to know what has been happening in South Africa this week with the bail hearing of Oscar Pistorius or not, it’s been hard not to know. The hearing has dominated the news, and the newspapers – both hard copies and online. Also for anyone living in London, had you managed to remain oblivious to the news (an impressive feat – you must have stopped listening to the radio and watching the television) you’ve had to contend with the boards at the major stations displaying updates on the hearing on your commute.

The coverage of the “alleged” murder of Reeva Steenkamp by Pistorius has dominated the news since it happened, and it doesn’t look likely to ease until the trial is over. The bail hearing though, I fear is only just the beginning. I think that we’re likely to find that whether we like it or not, the sensationalism storm that is already underway has only been a minor blizzard in light of what we can expect to see once the trail is in full swing.

To me, it is all starting to feel a little bit like OJ Simpson’s trial – not that I’m in anyway drawing comparisons between the cases (before anyone makes that comment). Although, you’ve got to wonder if OJ didn’t have the better defence to Pistorius! OJ’s whole there was another person angle, and the glove didn’t fit sounded far more reasonable than what we’ve heard from Pistorius so far. I’m not sure I’m persuaded by what we’ve read of his “I thought Reeva was still in bed... I thought it was an intruder... I thought... I thought...” Is it just me, or does it all sound a little bit like tweety bird? “I thought I saw a pussy cat... I did, I did!”

Granted, it’s only been the bail hearing, and yes a lot of what we’re reading is speculation from the media. I’m certainly not reading the court transcripts! But I can’t say I’m convinced, not with the whole cricket bat and shots through the closed bathroom door. Although that that said, the prosecution doesn’t exactly look like it’s got its act together either. Their evidence is reliant upon a witness who heard screaming from 400 metres away. Er hello! Who exactly hears screaming from that far away, you know, aside from superman? Also, not particularly great for them that the lead detective on the case has just been arrested for seven counts of murder!

All in all, the facts, the scandal, the whole thing, it looks a mess. One thing is for sure though, it looks set to make for great reading, and even if you want to avoid reading about it you won’t be able to. A part of me really wants to rise above it. I know that it’s sensationalist nonsense. We shouldn’t speculate. Pistorius should have the right to fair trial, and we should feel genuinely sorry for Reeva and her family.

The thing is I do want Pistorius to have a fair trial, but I think we all know that he faces two trials – one in the courts and one in the public eye. The one in the public eye though will be marred entirely by the Press. I think I’d fear the press trial more. As for Reeva Steenkamp it is a tragedy, and for her family I feel unbelievably sorry. They are not only having to deal with their grief, but the momentous question of why did this happen?

Sadly they may never get an answer to this question regardless as to the outcome of either of Pistorius’s trials. They must also live their grief out in the public eye, and endure what could be months of what will be a worldwide public spectacle to try and find an answer to this question.

Moving on slightly from sensationalism, but sticking with the issue of the law, I must touch upon the Pryce trial. It really does beggar belief that a case of such simplicity saw a re-trail, and a jury dismissed. I think it is best summed up by the trail judge himself – Mr Justice Sweeney, who said: "In 30 years of criminal trials I have never come across this..., never."

The trail may also have re-raised the issue of whether jury’s are the best way in which to try cases. One of the main issues of concern in the Pryce case was whether the Jury had the sufficient intelligence to be able to understand what was required of them in order to be able to reach an outcome.

Of the ten questions that they asked one of them was: "Can a juror come to a verdict based on a reason that was not presented in court and has no facts or evidence to support it either from the prosecution or defence?"

I honestly would have hoped that had that question been put to children aged eleven and above, they would have known the answer. It does seriously concern me therefore that a jury, of adults, had to ask this question. Let’s not forget that there were twelve of them in the room, surely one of them had the sufficient intellect to say, “er no, I think we’re dependent on facts.”

Perhaps the sensationalism of the Pistorius trial may do us all some good. Perhaps everyone, as we may all – if we are on the electoral roll, be called upon to do jury service could stand to learn something. The press should therefore take it upon themselves not only to sensationalise but also to educate. Yes the South African system may differ slightly to ours, but if its stops juries asking such ridiculous questions as got asked in the Pryce trial then at least we’ll have learnt something in addition to the fact that Pistorius wears blades to run in!

www.nataschaholloway.co.uk

It seems to me that there’s a lot of stuff just being made up this week!

This week I read that diet drinks can contribute to depression, but coffee can stave it off! Girls need aunts to stay on the straight and narrow, and apparently anyone who doesn't want anyone to live their whole life on the benefit system supports all conservative ideals – including the big society (even though I’m still not sure that David Cameron or Nick Clegg know what this is themselves, but continue to pat themselves on the back for what they think sounds like a very labour – sorry liberal slogan), and thinks that those who want to find a job and are on job seekers for what it was intended – a safety net, should be shot! Honestly, what a lot of nonsense!

Clearly I've had a slow first week back at work, but you really do have to ease back into things. For anyone who read my blog last week you’ll know that I was in over Christmas, but still I found that this week was still a shock to the system. What was it with everyone else being back at work, turning off their out of office and replying to emails?

Anyway aside from having to do some work, I’d like to hazard a guess that I, like the vast majority of the people who were back at their desks this week, found myself occasionally browsing the beeb or some other online media service and some of the articles and news stories were irritating to the extreme!

I appreciate that advancements in science are always on the go, and in truth this should be supported if not applauded, but I wish that the media would keep their noses out. I’m not sure causing confusion with the findings has any benefit to the general populous. Conflicting reporting on whether or not to have mammograms a couple of years ago led many women to be unsure or not to know whether to be screened, and there is always conflicting data over various different health issues depending on usually what’s on trend. This month you can read more information than not about how dry January is a waste of time than you can in support of it, although I’m proud to write that its day 12 and I’m still without an alcoholic drink!

This week the media reported the very weak finding that diet drinks could be linked to causing depression (if you drink four or more diet drinks every day). Fear not though because if you are a coffee drinker this could stave off depression. What I read delved into no greater detail however, in that there was no prognosis for you if you were both a diet drink and coffee drinker, or if you drank coffee and have depressive tendencies, or if you’re a diet drink addict and never feel blue. Also these findings seemed to only be in their preliminary stages, so it could be absolute hogwash!

Could it be that depression has absolutely nothing to do with aspartame? It could be an interesting campaign tactic though couldn't it? Clegg and Cameron handing out flyers and coffee, with Osborne crying out; “four, or four and bit more years till we fancy calling the next election” – not too catchy but our political system isn’t quite as smooth cut as the Americans, whilst Milliband and Balls hand out Diet drinks and chant; “we’ll make coffee free on the NHS, courtesy of Starbucks of course!”

So aside from the this story, and the headline story in The Sun yesterday about a man shaving his girlfriend’s Shih Tzu – really I just don’t have the words, the other commentary has been about the books that I suppose you’d best categorise as self help books on how to raise girls.

Being January this seems to be a time for stats. We’re all too fat – but fad diets don’t work, we all drink too much – but dry January is a waste of time, more of us now suffer from depression than ever before – quick hit the coffee cart, and more significantly the girls of today are more prone to eating disorders, drugs, depression, bullying, and going off the rails than ever before!

Firstly I’m not entirely sure I agree with this. I think that in an era where there are more stats readily available than ever before it’s just easy to compile data than ever before. I also believe that data is very easily manipulated so that it appears the way that you want it to, just ask a good accountant! It’s also my opinion that girls have been going off the rails in every generation; and I don’t always think this is a bad thing.

Secondly the eating disorder isn't unique to the noughties. Drugs too are not a new trend unique to girls of today, and drugs if anything seemed far more prolific in the eighties and nineties! As far as depression, and bullying, and anxiety are concerned, could it not just be a case that there is far wider understanding of these issues now. The sheath that they were once forced under has now been lifted and there is now an awareness and a desire to address and help not only girls but anyone suffering one or any of these afflictions!

I hate the notion in these raising girls books though that there is a right way and a wrong way to do it, whether that means relying on an actual aunt, pseudo aunt, or no aunt at all. Each child is bound to be unique, and is whether you like it not bound to test the limitations of your patience – and I would assume at some point your love. Yet I guess that’s what you sign up for, but I also guess that’s why there isn't actually a handbook that you’re given at the hospital!

I don’t have children, but I was one and the only thing I can say is that if I’d ever caught my parents making reference to a “how to raise your girl” book is well .... the only thing I can hear in my head right now is the music in Jaws right before the shark’s about to eat someone!

Teenagers will be Teenagers, and they’re going to make mistakes. Surely as parents you just want to be there for them when they do. The only thing I continue to learn is that no one is perfect, and maybe that’s what we need to teach the next generation rather than pretend to act as though we've solved the meaning to all that afflicted us as we grew up and write a book about it! I don’t know, perhaps I just need another cup of coffee minus the sweetener!

www.nataschaholloway.co.uk

Maybe the simple New Year’s Resolution can help us all look at the bigger picture, but in order to do that I’m guessing we’ll probably have to keep them past January!

Okay so like most people I have massively over indulged this Christmas. Yet I feel that I have had more reason than normal this year to eat and drink in excess. My birthday falls on the 24^th December. Yes, that’s right Christmas Eve, and I’ve long since gotten over the fact that whenever I have to give my date of birth the first thing that gets said to me straight after is; “do you know your birthday’s on Christmas eve?” (If that’s what you were thinking) I also, sadly, tragically, somewhat depressingly, turned 30. This meant that in the lead up to my birthday, and then on my birthday I was drinking and celebrating (and obviously eating) a lot, then you have Christmas, then the leftover period, and before you know it you’re into the New Year festivities.

Anyway, back on point, I like most people have massively over indulged this Christmas. So I, like most people of my age group (please no one comment that I have slipped into a different tick box on forms) will be doing dry January from the moment that I am sober on New Year’s day, and I will also be starting some diet of one kind or another. Probably taking the advice from whichever of my friends reckons they know someone who knows someone who lost half their body mass in a month!

More seriously though, the dieting and non drinking aside, it is that time of year when you can reflect on the year gone by or alternatively look forward and plan and hope for the year ahead.

What will be the great resolutions of 2013? For President Obama, well surely he has the greatest resolution to make? Can he forge a path in America’s history where gun control can finally be brought under some element of I don’t know, let’s say, control? Where the right to bear arms which was arguably never intended by the founding fathers to allow anyone and everyone outside of the militia the right to buy guns, machine guns, and rifles and shoot up innocent people can be amended?

The founding fathers had a common enemy when they wrote the Second Amendment. It was an occupying force. The enemy was not small primary school children. It was not any children. It was not any innocent man, woman, or child for that matter. As an Englishwoman I have no qualms in writing this (also it’s historically accurate), it was us. We did it! We were the enemy. We were being greedy and colonial, but times have changed and the right to bear arms is surely passed. Although that said, I don’t think anyone has a problem with farmers, hunters, or the army having guns. Surely as always, gun control as with most political wrangling it’s a matter of degrees.

What I do think would be terrifying to see in 2013 would be the whole of America armed in a response to the government’s failure to deal with gun control. Yet this seems to be an approach favoured by the head of the NRA Wayne LaPierre when he was speaking in his response to the recent shootings in Newport. Instead of showing any kind of humility in the face of tragedy, his response was to become like a parody of a Hollywood blockbuster, he said what you could be forgiven for thinking was the kind of thing Al Capone might once have said (granted if you swap around where good guy and bad guy are in the sentence); "The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun." No Wayne LaPierre, no! All this does is arm people and raise the probability of more innocent people getting caught up in the cross fire!

Turning away from what could be the greatest resolution of 2013, I want to look at what could be great resolutions for us all to try and keep and these are based on the findings of a nurse who has spent her career in palliative care looking after the elderly. She found that the elderly and dying had very similar regrets, and here are the top five;

1.     I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2.     I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

3.     I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

4.     I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5.     I wish that I had let myself be happier.

I want to say that going in to 2013 I will make each of these a personal resolution. Yet sadly I know that this is a rather flippant thing to write, I also know that I’m already breaking 3 and 4 as I write. 4 in so far as I’ve just silenced a call from a friend so that I can finish writing this blog, and 3 because sadly I’m quintessentially English (and I don’t mean that in a good way). Yet I can honestly say in the couple of days between Christmas and New Year, I absolutely excelled at 2!

www.nataschaholloway.co.uk